10 Things I've Learned from the Past Year

The past year has been so many things, including exhausting, joyful, hilarious, humbling, encouraging, and almost everything in between.  And we've survived it! 
One year ago we were bringing Wren and Judson home to begin our life as a family of five. 

 Over the course of the past year, I've learned a few things, about myself, about our family, about life in general, and about our faithful Heavenly Father.  Lest I forget them, here are a few of them (in no particular order):
1.  Our family and friends are amazing.  Even before the babies were born, so many members of our family and friends offered to help however they could.  In those first few days (when I was home with Caleb and Wren and Tony spent most of his time at the hospital with Judson), there were people at our house almost the entire time - watching Caleb, making sure I was ok, and helping with household chores.  I'll never forget how overwhelmed I felt just from having to pump breast milk for Judson.  There just seemed to be no place to do it with everything set up and ready to go.  So my sweet (and organized) dad (probably a little weirded out by just the mention of breast milk), set up a "pumping station" for me to use, complete with all the pump parts, bottles, and cleaning supplies.  Back in the Spring and again recently this fall when we needed to do a lot of yard work, Tony's parents came over and watched the kids all day while we were working outside.  Almost every weekend, my mom has come over to help however she could.  They all put up my Christmas tree for me.  Friends are still occasionally bringing us dinner.  These are just a few examples from the past year of the amazing things our family and friends have done for us.  We're so grateful for all of them.
2.  There is such a thing as love at first sight.  From the first time I laid eyes on Tony, I was certainly smitten with him, but it took a little getting to know him to know that I was in love with him.  Likewise with Caleb and Judson.  I knew that I would come to love them with all my heart (and I definitely did), but it took a little while of getting to know them for my love to grow to its fullest capacity.  Not so with this beautiful golden-haired baby girl...

From the first moment I saw her, I loved her with the fiercest love - with all my being and all my might.  I don't know why it was different.  Maybe it's just something about a bond between mothers and daughters.  Maybe it's just something about baby girls.  Or maybe it's just her. 

 3.  Speaking of matters of the heart...it's definitely true that your heart grows with each child you have.  Your capacity for love and joy, sadness and pain grows exponentially.  The interesting thing about it is that it not only grows in respect to your own children but it also grows for other people.  It seems that the more children I have, the more compassion I have for other people - for other mothers, fathers and children.  I've never felt the happiness and sorrows of other people more so than after having the babies.
4.  You can get more done in an hour and a half than you ever thought possible.  Back before I had any children, I used to think I was so busy.  Now I laugh at that thought.  Somehow I'm always able to manage to find extra time to squeeze just one more thing in (although I really think I am close to my capacity at this point!) or to just become more efficient.  You should see me the hour and a half before the babies wake up and the hour and a half after they go to bed.  I focus like a laser beam and cross things off my to-do list like it's going out of style...usually.  Sometimes I just need to do some yoga or read a book.  So I just add that to my to-do list, and I feel accomplished for the day (and relaxed).
5.  Hospitals are no fun.  We've spent more time in a hospital this year than I care for.  Don't get me wrong - the doctors, nurse and other staff were wonderful, but it was still a hospital.  If I never step foot in another hospital again, that would be ok with me.  Thankfully, our stays in the hospital were relatively short and far between compared to other families and not as long as we thought could be possible when we found out about Judson's heart problems.
6.  Children are resilient.  Would you believe this picture was taken less than 72 hours after Judson's open heart surgery?

 It's amazing to think of all his little body has gone through in his short life and to see how little he's been affected by it.  For the most part, he's doing what any one year old baby should be doing.  We give thanks and glory to God for his provision for our little baby boy.

 7.  There's nothing like the love between siblings.  The first day we brought Wren home, Caleb head-butted her.  That made me a little worried about what sort of relationship they would have.  Despite my concerns, they have in fact become the best of friends.  Caleb can make her laugh like no one else, and he's more gentle and kind to her than anyone.  And he loves to give her kisses.

 He's also become quite fond of Judson.  I have a feeling that those two are going to get into some trouble together when they get older...
For the first few months of their lives, the babies rarely even noticed that there was another baby around.  Not so any more.  They will steal toys from one another.  Or sometimes they play tug-of-war with the toys.  Here lately, one of them (usually Wren) will steal food from the other's tray.  They will even occasionally look one another in the eye and smile or laugh.  We don't know what they're smiling at, but I like to think they have their own secret language.  

8.  No matter how crazy things seem at first, they eventually become routine.  The first months of the babies' lives I desperately wanted some schedule or routine for our family so life wouldn't feel so crazy.  I would post page-long schedules on the refrigerator documenting what every person in our family would be doing at every moment of the day.  I wish I had pictures of them now so I could show you just how laughable they were.  Something (or usually someone) always messed them up.  Over time, however, life has a way of settling into its own routine...even if it's just routine craziness.
9.  Through the grace of God, I am capable of doing so much more than I ever even thought possible.  I think that there's something about giving birth or becoming a mom or becoming a mom to multiple children that makes you realize your full potential.  Or perhaps it reminds you of your shortcomings and makes you care less if you make a fool of yourself.  Who knows?  Either way, this past year, I've been more likely to step out of my comfort zone, to test my limits, and to go after my goals.  Maybe it's because now I have three little sets of eyes watching and learning from me.  I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and I want them to know and trust in that truth, too.
10.  He will sustain us.  If there's been one guiding principle over the past year, it has definitely been that God will sustain us.  Through the good and the bad times, he has provided for us.  He is, he has been, and he always will be faithful.  May we never forget that.